I was a shy child and I still am shy in a multitude of ways in different environments. I would shirk away from speaking up or voicing my opinion. It would somehow leave me feeling anxious and awkward, words that were not a part of my vocabulary when I was younger. As I grew older, I was usually told I am unusually quiet, when in reality my mind was always abuzz with so many thoughts. My mind was a place where I could go and be myself with myself and I used to think, ‘is that not an ideal space to be?’ 

As a child, there was one moment that stood out for me amidst a plethora of childhood memories. I was around 8 years – old and my brother and I were at the community club. It was evening time, the sun had set and the sky was tinged with slight hues of purple and orange, the club was abuzz with activity. 

I remember looking up towards the sky, lost in thought.  Meanwhile, my brother had met a friend, and he was calling out to me to come and say hi. For some odd reason, I could not get myself to do that, instead, I quickly hid behind a large oak tree, so as not to be seen. I stood in the shadow of the tree for as long as my brother and his friend spoke – as if I were paralyzed. Later, my brother related the incident to my family, and jokingly all of them chimed in and reaffirmed the fact that I am a timid child and low on confidence.

What Is Confidence?

I would ask myself, it is such an abstract and subjective trait. I began to push myself further, reminding myself I need to be more confident, I need to be more outspoken, and I need to put myself out there. I wonder where these cues were emanating from, it was as if I were fighting my natural being and molding myself according to what others thought I should be like, hence the conflict.

In the here and now, that memory remains in the foreground as a highlight of the extent of my shyness. While these traits may be used for someone who is an introvert, I did not particularly identify with that label either. I was left feeling confused about who I really am while growing up. The conflict was that I also loved meeting my friends and enjoyed going out but in limitations and boundaries. And somehow, a lot of people did not see that about me, it seemed people wanted to see what they believed, nothing beyond that and thus, one of my personality traits became quiet and shy, labels I wore like badges and sometimes carried as a heavy problem.

As I grew older and entered into my teen years, hesitance stuck with me. I use the word hesitate because I now identify with that more than shyness – the hesitance to speak up and act out as if an invisible force were stopping me. However, my personality began developing and I started being identified as fun, friendly and talkative – antitheses of what I really was. 

It felt great, it felt new and it felt exciting. I cannot remember if this was a conscious effort, a change in my personality. However, I slowly started to feel more comfortable in my own skin; I felt ‘yes this is who I really am. And then I grew out of my teen years and into adulthood, which was another feeling altogether. At this moment, I am a balance of both, I am the yin to my yang whenever need be.

On this journey of self-transformation and personality development, I want to be able to walk with you through every stage, for you to be able to unearth facts about yourself and work on aspects about yourself that may be out of your awareness. Traits which exist yet are fearful of emerging within you and making themselves known to you and your internal world. 

I do not like to bring in the external world because you have to work with yourself before you start dealing with others. Know yourself, know how you work, and know your inner core, before allowing others to define it for you. 

While this may sound like a simple feat, I assure you, it takes years of learning, unlearning, and forming habits to get to a point where you find yourself evolved and transformed from what you were initially. It is not a goal, it is a journey where you find yourself becoming the best version, not for others, but for yourself.

This journey, as I like to term it, is going to be filled with its fair share of highs and lows, good and bad moments, and happy and sad moments. The word transformative denotes that a change is taking place, and as humans, we are averse to change in a lot of ways. 

However, the first step is recognizing that change is a must and a lot of us, without realizing it, have already taken that step, so congratulations. The second step is you choosing this book off the rack and deciding to read it. Journeys are long, so each step counts to make it to your final destination personality development tips.

I get asked the golden question quite frequently, ‘so how do you really transform yourself?’ I respond and tell them to ask some questions, not from others, but themselves. Following are some questions you need to ask yourself before embarking on the journey of self-transformation.

Personality Development Tips in Brief

●       What made you realize the need to change?

●       How do you feel about the realization?

●       Now that you have made a decision, how do you wish to go about it?

●       What do you wish to change about yourself?

●       What does self-transformation mean to you?

●       How is your relationship with yourself?

●       How do you normally deal with change?

Of course, all of us tend to go on a self-transformation mission from time to time, especially when the New Year rings in. New Year’s resolutions may sound familiar to a lot of you. We make resolutions, and we make pacts with ourselves, friends, and family, yet somehow, most of us waver off the path that we map out for ourselves, personality development. 

Most of us end up shrugging off the break in the resolution, or some even find themselves asking why they cannot go ahead with their resolutions, the mind may be a buzz with all the different reasons as to why we did not stick to the resolutions we made, especially if they were for our good.

In most cases, the answer lies within us – it is patience and support.  Not patience and support from the outside world, which is always welcome, but rather patience and support from within. Knowing that you will be there for yourself, you will support yourself and you will have faith in yourself to be able to work through the change you desire, personality development tips. 

Personality development tips, while consistent support and patience are ideal situations to find oneself in, there will be days where you will find yourself questioning that patience and at times even getting frustrated, because old habits are hard to unlearn, and mapping out new territory for yourself by yourself will test your patience and courage, personality development tips. 

These will be the moments where you will have to step up for yourself and tell yourself ‘I believe in myself and I am doing good enough.’ Just a small pat on your back, an appreciation for yourself, and taking time to step back and look at the progress you have made, will become great habits to induct into your life, personality development tips. 

These small and mindful changes can have an impact on your overall being and mood. While we tend to seek external validation a lot of the time, we forget we have ourselves and have the power to give ourselves the reassurance we so frequently search for in others, personality development tips.

More importantly, in moments you find yourself questioning the process of self-transformation and feel frustrated or impatient, remember you are human and you are allowed to feel this. Give yourself the space to grow and to test the boundaries. There will be discomfort and it will be challenging, but the journey is worth it, personality development tips. 

Read the recent blog – 5 Power Tips To Foster Positive Personality Development For University Students

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